Biarlah Rahsia

Keheningan Malam Membangunkan

Kepayahan Jiwa Meluahkan

Andai Kau Jujur Memahami

Tiadaku Menjauhi

Dan Kisahku Yang Masih Panjang

Menambahkan Berat Yang Memandang

Lantas Ku Pendam

Ku Putuskan

Biarlah Rahsia...

This is a part of Che' Siti's latest song and this is exactly what I am feeling right now... Biarlah rahsia...

I need a JOB!

Ya Allah! What is happening to me? I need a job, a proper job. I'm sick and tired of doing something that I don't really want to do it. I wouldn't be doing an engineering course if I wanna be a teacher.

I have to admit, nothing is easy. But I am determined to get what I really want. InsyaAllah I will not quit until I am there. I may have to face a lot of difficulties along the way, thus I need all the support that I can get.

Teddy, you are the closest to me and I need help. I really do...

Ish! Apekebendenyer?

I have a friend, or shall I say a best friend. We were born in the same year; he arrived in this world in January and I was born ten months after that. He is the first baby boy in his family while I am the youngest daughter of my family. I never like what he likes and he never likes what I like. There is nothing in common between us but somehow we stick together like magnets. (Prolly we are of different pole!)

I met him today. Hmm... happiness! (mind you, we seldom meet; busy, busy man indeed). But that is not what I wanna write about. What is in my mind right now is: WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH HIM? Apekebendernye neh? He always have girlfriends (I think bitches are more appropriate; sorry dude) who ends up hurting him and it hurts when I see him hurt. Why is it hard for him to see which one is good for him and which one is not? Sometimes I feel like knocking on his head so that he could see clearer (Hmm... maybe if I pinch him harder, which I always do, he could see clearer kot. Tee hee). Why can't he see that there are far more better girls out there, who sincerely and wholeheartedly cares about him are available but no, he still chooses those bitches who are capable of hurting him. Eiiii... geram sungguh tau!!!

Teddy, please look around you, and when I say look, you better look carefully. Your problem is my friend, you NEVER looked at the right direction. I know what you are looking for is right in front of you but you are too blind (or rather too stoopid) to see. Jangan nanti bila orang tu dah takde, baru nak sedar she's the right person for you. I don't want you to get hurt again and again. Allah gave you perfect senses, perfect brains for you to use it, please, I beg you, use it wisely. Istikharah and InsyaAllah you will get the answer. I can only listen to your problems and kutuk you a lil bit but it is God's will that will help you see clearly. Apa-apa pun, please remind me to knock on your head when I see you next time.

MasyaAllah, lamanya!

It has been a while I neglegted this blog of mine. Lama giler tak ngeblog. Tee hee. Where was I? Trying to sort out things. I have been out of my "orbit" and I am really messed up right now. My age is catching up on me and all my plans tak menjadi. WTF!

There are moments that I feel like going away, somewhere where people don't know me. Start a new life or something. Hijrah. It is been said that if things did not turn up as you planned, it is better for you to start anew somewhere else. I don't know. Sometimes we feel that the grass is greener on the other side of the field but what we don't know is that it could only be synthetic grass that we see. But on the other hand, if we don't try to go to the other side of the field, we will never know that it is synthetic. Get what I mean?

Seriously, what I am going through right now somehow demotivates me in every single way. Have you ever felt so hopeless when everything that you plan does not fall into places? I worked so hard to get to where I am now, but still, hopeless, helpless. Perhaps rezeki tu belum ada kot.

God, I know You are testing me and I am greatful and thankful to You. This is the only way I know that You are watching me and You want me to be more faithful to You. InsyaAllah I will never forget to be ever faithful to You God as You never forget me as Your ever faithful servant. Amiin Ya Robbal 'Alamiin....

Kodok oh Kodok

I brought the game into this house and three of my housemates got addicted to it. Hari - hari nak main kodok. Yang peliknya, kenapa I tak addicted to it pun? Hehe... Sorry guys...

I Envy You...

I envy...
Those who can write beautifully

I envy...
Those who can write pages and pages of words

I envy...
Those who can just write all their heart out

I envy...
You...

Mommy, sakit kaki....

My uni organised an event last Saturday. My housemates and I woke up as early as 5am to get ready for the event. By 7am all of use rode the bus to Kubang Gajah where the event is supposed to take off. It's a 10km (13.8km actually) walk event; which means we had to walk 10km from Kubang to Mata Ayer to Jejawi to the kampungs in between that I don't know their names to Dewan Warisan, right in the heart of Kangar.

Twas quite an experience for me and few of my friends. You see, being a city girl I never had the privilege to walk thru sawah bendang. Like what orang utara would say, "peghak". Everything was a first for me that day; first time attempting to walk 10km without any prior training and first time to walk thru a bendang. Best giler I tell you! TERUJA is the word.

Teruja, teruja jugak. By the time we covered 3/4 of the route, my legs were threatening to give up on her master. But I was determined to finish what I have started an hour ago. After huffing and puffing for another 1/2 hour, I finally reached the destination. I was so damn tired that I could hardly angkat kaki... Mommy, my leg hurts!

Horrible Week

Guten Morgen. Couldn't resist writing before I go. It had been a hectic and frustrating week for me. Came back from outbound skool (mental note: will write about it, wonderful experience) without having enough sleep, without my voice (had terrible cough and still having it). Had tests on Wednesday and Thursday, which one of them has fallen under the terjun lombong category. Then one of my two labs did not worked out as it is supposed to work,therefore I could not report the correct results to my JP. I hope my trip to Penang would rejuvenate me for next week's battle; another 2 tests. Yikes!

Teddy, thanks for turning up last Monday. Short but sweet and meaningful.

First entry

Hmmm... I finally did it. Alhamdulillah, syukur pada Tuhan. This is going to be the beginning of my blogging journey, in which I hope to be able to write as often as I can. For now, this will do.... Will write again as soon as I get back from Penang...

To you, you know who you are, take care coz I care....