Monday, April 24, 2006

Biarlah Rahsia

Keheningan Malam Membangunkan
Kepayahan Jiwa Meluahkan
Andai Kau Jujur Memahami
Tiadaku Menjauhi

Dan Kisahku Yang Masih Panjang
Menambahkan Berat Yang Memandang
Lantas Ku Pendam
Ku Putuskan
Biarlah Rahsia...

This is a part of Che' Siti's latest song and this is exactly what I am feeling right now... Biarlah rahsia...

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I need a JOB!

Ya Allah! What is happening to me? I need a job, a proper job. I'm sick and tired of doing something that I don't really want to do it. I wouldn't be doing an engineering course if I wanna be a teacher.
I have to admit, nothing is easy. But I am determined to get what I really want. InsyaAllah I will not quit until I am there. I may have to face a lot of difficulties along the way, thus I need all the support that I can get.
Teddy, you are the closest to me and I need help. I really do...

Friday, April 14, 2006

Ish! Apekebendenyer?

I have a friend, or shall I say a best friend. We were born in the same year; he arrived in this world in January and I was born ten months after that. He is the first baby boy in his family while I am the youngest daughter of my family. I never like what he likes and he never likes what I like. There is nothing in common between us but somehow we stick together like magnets. (Prolly we are of different pole!)
I met him today. Hmm... happiness! (mind you, we seldom meet; busy, busy man indeed). But that is not what I wanna write about. What is in my mind right now is: WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH HIM? Apekebendernye neh? He always have girlfriends (I think bitches are more appropriate; sorry dude) who ends up hurting him and it hurts when I see him hurt. Why is it hard for him to see which one is good for him and which one is not? Sometimes I feel like knocking on his head so that he could see clearer (Hmm... maybe if I pinch him harder, which I always do, he could see clearer kot. Tee hee). Why can't he see that there are far more better girls out there, who sincerely and wholeheartedly cares about him are available but no, he still chooses those bitches who are capable of hurting him. Eiiii... geram sungguh tau!!!
Teddy, please look around you, and when I say look, you better look carefully. Your problem is my friend, you NEVER looked at the right direction. I know what you are looking for is right in front of you but you are too blind (or rather too stoopid) to see. Jangan nanti bila orang tu dah takde, baru nak sedar she's the right person for you. I don't want you to get hurt again and again. Allah gave you perfect senses, perfect brains for you to use it, please, I beg you, use it wisely. Istikharah and InsyaAllah you will get the answer. I can only listen to your problems and kutuk you a lil bit but it is God's will that will help you see clearly. Apa-apa pun, please remind me to knock on your head when I see you next time.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

MasyaAllah, lamanya!

It has been a while I neglegted this blog of mine. Lama giler tak ngeblog. Tee hee. Where was I? Trying to sort out things. I have been out of my "orbit" and I am really messed up right now. My age is catching up on me and all my plans tak menjadi. WTF!

There are moments that I feel like going away, somewhere where people don't know me. Start a new life or something. Hijrah. It is been said that if things did not turn up as you planned, it is better for you to start anew somewhere else. I don't know. Sometimes we feel that the grass is greener on the other side of the field but what we don't know is that it could only be synthetic grass that we see. But on the other hand, if we don't try to go to the other side of the field, we will never know that it is synthetic. Get what I mean?
Seriously, what I am going through right now somehow demotivates me in every single way. Have you ever felt so hopeless when everything that you plan does not fall into places? I worked so hard to get to where I am now, but still, hopeless, helpless. Perhaps rezeki tu belum ada kot.
God, I know You are testing me and I am greatful and thankful to You. This is the only way I know that You are watching me and You want me to be more faithful to You. InsyaAllah I will never forget to be ever faithful to You God as You never forget me as Your ever faithful servant. Amiin Ya Robbal 'Alamiin....